


When I Leave For the Night, I Ain't Comin' Back

by mercurybard



Category: Mass Effect, Primeval, The Losers (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: au_bingo, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-26
Updated: 2010-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-13 09:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurybard/pseuds/mercurybard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pooch and Jensen are members of the Alliance Special Forces unit known as "The Losers". They're trained for everything...except dinosaurs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Leave For the Night, I Ain't Comin' Back

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my au_bingo card. Prompt - Historical: Prehistoric. [Proof of concept tidbit. I don't know if anything more will grow from it.] None of these belong to me. I take no credit and mean no harm.

If Pooch had time to stop and think, it made sense that Jensen was the one to find the crack in the wall...and go through the crack in the wall...and fall ass over tea kettle into the Jurassic.

Where they were now being chased by a pterodactyl. Pooch fired a couple of shots over his shoulder at the thing and then focused on hauling ass in the opposite direction.

"Actually," Jensen panted as Pooch caught up, "If that's a pteranodon, then this is the Late Cretaceous, not the Jurassic."

They'd reached the top of a steep hill, and their descent was more sliding than running, Pooch dragging his gloved hands through the dead leaves to try and keep some control over where he was going.

Overhead, the dinosaur swooped lower and shrieked. Both of them flattened on well-trained instinct.

"That," Jensen said when he picked his face up out of the leaves, "Is not a dinosaur."

"Then what the hell is it?"

"A pterosaur. The term 'dinosaur' is only used when talking about the land critters."

"Some of us out-grew our dinosaur phase when we were five," Pooch grumbled as he scrambled back to his feet. "And would you stay out of my damn head for five seconds?" Fucking biotics with their creepy mind-reading powers. "Why don't you use some of that mojo and bring that thing down?"

"One thing at a time, man," Jensen said. He didn't bother to get up, but his nose wrinkled the way it did when he was thinking too hard. His hands came up, blue energy crackling around them like something out of a bad fantasy flick, and then shot out at the pterosaur...pteranodon. Whatever.

The creature seized in midair and gave a massive twitch before starting to fall. Pooch brought his weapon up and fired once, twice, three times into the thing's center mass. It shrieked at each hit, which made him feel a little better. No prehistoric armored plating. Jolene was still going to kill him when she found out about this (and she would find out about this...no amount of redacting could keep his lovely wife from ferreting out the crazy stunts he pulled while deployed).

About thirty feet from the ground, Jensen reached out with the freaky brain powers and used them to slam the dinosaur (shut up, Jensen) into the ground at high speed. Even from several yards away, Pooch heard something snap on impact. Hopefully, something vital.

Keeping an eye on the creature and his weapon in hand, he helped Jensen to his feet. The hacker took two staggering steps and clutched at his forehead. "OW! Motherfucking L2 units can suck my cock!"

Pooch thumped his shoulder in sympathy--the implant the government had put in Jensen's brain to enable his biotic powers caused crazy bad migraines after use. "You gonna be able to walk out of here?"

"Yeah," Jensen said after a moment. "Where we walking to? The sparkly thing on the other side of the wall closed after we came through."

"'Sparkly thing'?"

"You didn't see it? It was right on the other side of that hole I squeezed through in the great big alien Wailing Wall." When Pooch had a headache, all he wanted to do was pop a couple of painkillers and go lie down someplace quiet. Jensen, however, just kept talking.

"I was a little distracted by the pteranodon that was trying to eat us."

They eased over to the downed dinosaur (no, really, Jensen, get the hell out of my head). Blood flowed sluggishly from the wounds Pooch's weapon had made. Jensen nudged it with the toe of one boot. It didn't so much as twitch. "You know that old saying 'reptiles don't die 'til sunset'?"

"No."

"Do you think it's true?"

"Considering I've never even heard..." A stick snapped in the woods behind them, and they both whirled, weapons coming up.

There was a woman standing right at the edge of the tree line. "Whoa! Whoa!" she said at the sight of their weapons trained on her. "I'm not armed."

Her voice was heavily layered with a British accent, her eyeliner looked Egyptian...but in the way a fashion model's would look, and she wore antique-looking combat boots underneath her floral print skirt. Definitely not a cave woman. Pooch lowered his weapon. "Who are you?" he called.

"I should be asking you that question." She took a few cautious steps back towards the trees. "Do you work for Helen Cutter?"

"Who?" Jensen asked. He too had lowered his weapon and was looking at the newcomer with his head cocked to one side. "'Fraid I don't know anyone by that name, though there was a girl back in basic who we called 'Cutter' because of her skill with a machete. I think her name was Eleanor though..."

The woman laughed and stopped her subtle retreat. "You talk too much to work for Helen. I'm Dr. Page."

"I'm Pooch, and the motormouth here is Jensen." She looked more like a grad student running around a university campus than someone tramping through dinosaur-infested woods.

"Hey, Doc," Jensen said, bounding across the handful of meters separating them and sticking out his hand. "What brings you to the Late Cretaceous?"

She shook the offered hand, mouth quirking at the corners in the face of Jensen's Jensen-ness. "I was helping my team lure a pteradonon back through an Anomaly and, well, fell through. Unfortunately, it closed right after that, so here I am! Wandering around and praying that another Anomaly opens back up to 2009. Which," she said as she looked Jensen over and then Pooch, "Is not, I'm guessing, where you're from."

"Try 2183," Jensen said, "And that's if we're talking about the same dating methods."

Pooch stepped forward. "What’s this anomaly you mentioned?" For someone who had just stumbled into the far distant past and was apparently talking to people from her future, Dr. Page didn't seem particularly upset.

She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "I'm not actually supposed to talk about it, but since you're here, I don't think there would be much use in denying any of this. An Anomaly is a hole in time. Dinosaurs have a bad habit of blundering through."

"So it's just a hole?" Jensen asked while Pooch was still stuck on ‘hole in time’. Hell, he was still stuck on ‘dinosaur’. "Like a tear, or is it like a window to the past that you can look through?"

“More like a glowing ball of white light and crystal."

"Flickering light--Pooch, that's what I saw through the crack in the wall," Jensen said. “When we went through, we must have stepped millions of years into the past.”

"Jolene's going to kill me."


End file.
